by Ann-Margaret Honeycutt
Finding A New Direction
When you come to that place in your life when you can no longer stay the person you have become, you start searching hoping to find a way out, a new direction. The woman in the Direction card was a perfect representative of me. I spun and spun frantically searching for away out. We are lucky to live in a country with so many opportunities, but which one do we chose??? Where do you go??? You spin and spin making yourself dizzy, crazy, unbalanced—but at the same time your heart is racing, you’re excited, nervous. For the first time you recognize you’re not stuck. You feel free, light. The field before you is overflowing with opportunities, so many choices. Now you must choose. What will release you? What will allow you to fly?
You come to that place where you recognize that, to truly live, you need to stop living in the past. Stop clinging to the resentment of what was done to you. Release the pain of how unfair you have been treated. Channel the rage from all the wrongs done to you into fuel for creating a better life. Forgiveness is the hardest thing I have ever learned. I shrouded myself in bitterness, anger, and disappointment. I allowed it to shield me from the world, from making connections I should have made. Like the woman in the Forgiveness card, I laid myself bare. I released my cloak of anger and bitterness. Tears rain free, cleansing my body, my mind, my spirit. I sank deep into the ocean of my intuition, allowing my being to become enveloped by its calming, cool waters. As pictured in the card my anger started to fade. My once burning red skin fading to a pale gold. Forgiveness is a hard battle. You’ve carried these burdens for so long, laying them down leaves you exhausted, frightened, raw, and directionless.
I sat wondering why I had carried them so long. Why did I nurture them? Tend to them? Give them so much time and attention? Allowing them to grow until they consumed my thoughts, my actions, my very being? What purpose did they have? Were they truly just there to prevent me from being hurt by others? From making a connection? Guidance from my intuitive teachers led me to look inward. The Prayer card shows how I opened myself up to the knowledge of the universe. Suddenly the clouds parted, the sun shined through and I allowed my intuition to connect to the Divine. A deep knowing fell over me and I came to realize all the pain, hurt, heartbreak, and betrayal did have a purpose. They were lessons that I came into this world with. Lessons I needed to evolve and grow from, so that I can become the person I was meant to be.
Forgiveness frees you. Learning to be grateful for the wrongs done to you, for the lessons that you learned, allows you to evolve. It gives you the ability to burn away the ties that bind you to the past. You now have the ability to renovate yourself with your newfound freedom. The Renovation card depicts the freedom of the destruction of your old life, your old truths. Living in gratitude gifts you to have the ability to dance forward, to create a new passionate you. With your new insights you gain a new life full of energy and possibilities. What will you make of it???