by Charlyn Scheffelman, AKA Lady Nytewind
Mother bought me all kinds of dolls, but all I wanted was a chemistry set.While exhibiting my book at a metaphysical fair in Denver, I was drawn to a booth filled will most beautiful paintings. There was an oracle deck displayed and I drew a card. I was so meaningful to me, that it brought tears to my eyes.
The card I drew was Resolution. I was immediately taken back to my childhood and my father whom I loved very much. Mother, however, was a different story. I was a big disappointment to her. I seemed to think differently than everyone else, asking questions that frustrated people or got me into trouble. Mother bought me all kinds of dolls, but all I wanted was a chemistry set. She also made sure the town librarian would not let me check out anything weird!
I would hear her tell my father, who loved me but didn’t understand me, all kinds of lies about me and my behavior. I’m sure he didn’t know what to think.
I was not popular at school, and kids made fun of my name, my glasses, and my size as I was smaller than everyone else (and actually a year younger than the others as well).
All this left me with sort of an inferiority complex, but I believed that there was nothing really wrong with me and that I could overcome all this.
I met the love of my life when I was 15 and married him before I turned 17. We had 3 children before we were 21. We were married for 43 years before he died, but he always let me be ME, and loved and accepted me for who I am.
We soon moved several states away from our home state, so I’ve chosen the Separation card. It was the best thing that we could have done.
We lived in larger towns than the ones we grew up in, and I could check out any books I wanted from the libraries! I was hungry for answers! Knowledge, the third card I chose, was what I sought, and that search led me to psychology, then parapsychology, alternative religions and metaphysics. I was finding some answers and some explanations concerning my own experiences, thoughts and feelings.
I finally discovered Wicca, which immediately fit everything I had been doing without knowing where it came from. I established a circle, taught Wicca (along with some astrology and alchemy) then created camp events, each focused on one of the five elements. After 13 years of teaching, writing ritual, writing a book, creating the camp events and heading my circle as High Priestess, four members decided they didn’t like me anymore, caused a big ruckus, spread rumors, turned people against me and the circle fell apart. As a result, I lost confidence in myself and my abilities, and old feelings of inadequacy came back. Then, after five years, my new boss fired me from my part-time job for basically no reason.
I recently reverted to my Creativity, (fourth card) which may not make me any money, but makes me happy. I’ve written a second book and am busy creating things for another metaphysical show somewhere. At the same time, I know that, even though I’m 75, I’m not done on this planet. I am waiting, and the current and final card I chose is Liberation. I’m not a very patient person, so I am wondering why the new project or direction is taking so long. All the old ties have been cut. I am ready to move on, but unsure of the direction.
Perhaps this experience will lead me to that new direction.
Blessed Be
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“My Strange Life: Diary of a Witch”!
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